TWO YEARS AGO WHILE HOVERING NEAR THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL STARING AIMLESSLY AT A WALL, MY HAND BRUSHED UP AGAINST MY LAPTOP AND LIT UP ON THE YOUTUBE HOMEPAGE, WHERE BILL BURR HAD LANDED ON MY RECOMMENDATIONS. I CLICKED "PLAY" AND WATCHED HIS "MOTHERHOOD ISN'T THE HARDEST JOB" BIT. I LAUGHED, THE FIRST TIME IN MONTHS, AND THEN WATCHED IT AGAIN. I LAUGHED HARDER. I FOLLOWED THIS UP WITH DAVE CHAPPELLE AND JA RULE: "I DON'T WANNA DANCE, I'M SCARED TO DEATH," WHICH IS STILL my GO-TO WHEN I NEED A LIFT.

IN THE FOLLOWING DAYS I WOULD RETURN TO YOUTUBE, NOT TO BE MADE WHOLE AGAIN, BUT JUST TO FEEL SOMETHING...ANYTHING. NOW I WAS WATCHING OLD FOOTAGE OF MY FAVORITE BANDS, FAVORITE MOVIE DANCE SCENES, UFO SIGHTINGS, ETC. ONE DAY MY SENSES OF EFFICIENCY AND CONVENIENCE WOKE UP, AND I MADE PLAYLISTS USING MY VIEWING HISTORY, NOW THOUSANDS OF VIDEOS LONG.

SO I'VE REPEATED THIS PROCESS HERE FOR YOU, WITH SOME OF THE GREATEST HITS IN VARIOUS CATEGORIES, WITH MUCH MORE TO COME. i HOPE YOU FIND IT ALL VERY DISTRACTING AND ENTERTAINING.